Why Love?

Why love someone?
Do you really LOVE anyone but yourself?
When i say "i love you" i'm saying it because someone said it to me and i care about them and maybe i have spent some precious times with them and i consider them comfortable and or enjoyable to be around.
I think this is why it can be so easy to feel like you love everyone when your on drugs or just feeling high becasue you can convince or train your brain to enjoy anything and anyone.
Anything i don't enjoy about someone or anything that i am uncomfortable with is a projection of myself and my own insecurities.
Anything that i love about someone else is also a projection of me and the qualities that i choose to admire in others are qualities that i share with them.
I don't manifest qualities alone easily. Feelings positive or negative are usually instigated by another energy human or otherwise.
When your alone with no outside stimulation you may get bored because you don't know how to trigger yourself and your qualities without an outside stimulas.
So maybe there is no loving others only yourself and maybe some energies trigger me more than others and i have not yet learned how to love myself completly therefore i sometimes avoid people that stimulate an emotion of anger because i am angry with myself.

I Love You= your energy instigates my love and I'm stimulated with good vibrations inside from your energy

If this theroy is corrrect after training myself to love everything about myself i will be without judgment. I will beable to love anyone and everyone i share energies with will be my romantic partner.

Leaving

My Quest- I have been brave and taken the first step i left behind what is familiar and comforting, which has been anything from my home to bitter old resentments, anything i felt i had an unnecessary attachment to due to enviormental circumstances. This is to set out on a truth-seeking journey, both externally and internally, and if i am truly willing to regard everything that happens to me on this journey as a clue and if i accept everyone i meet along the way as a teacher and if i am prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about myself, then i will have broken open the doors to my never ending quest.

Source of info

All of my information thus far, unless otherwise or previously noted has come from:
Online encyclopedia-http://www.britannica.com/
dictionary- http://www.merriam-webster.com/ and of course http://www.wikipedia.org/
On each of these websites i have simply typed in Three things. The first being castration process, second Oedipus complex, and the third castration anxiety.
 The recorded dream is my own. I may or may not post my analysis and it may or may not end up being relatable in any way.

Castration Anxiety

Male Castration Anxiety

Castration anxiety

 Freud laid out The Oedipus complex which is the goal to possess the parent of the opposite sex and eliminate the parent of the same sex. It's part of a strong fear or anxiety in boys and men usually begining during stages of sexual development. This is likely because in cultures of the 19th century in Europe, it was not unheard of for parents to threaten their childrens genitals with castration.
So when a boy sees a girl's genitalia, the boy would sometimes assume that the girl had her penis removed.The assumption is that it was a punishment for misbehavior. The boy then is afraid the same will happen to him.

Castrating yourself

Cutting with a knife is the most reliable and least expensive method of castration. Materials needed include: a sharp knife or scalpel, soap and water, disinfectant, syringes and tetanus antitoxin.

 Begin by washing the knife thoroughly with soap and then disinfectant. Next, wash your scrotum.
 Push your balls up out of the way and cut off the lower 1/3 of your scrotum with a cut parallel to the ground. Using your fingers, grasp one of the balls and pull downward. The balls can be slick and difficult to hold onto, so hang on tight. Do not allow your balls or spermatic cord to go back up into the scrotum once you have touched it as this will increase chances of infection. In young boys(less than 14) pull down firmly, but steadily until the cord breaks. In older boys and men, instead of pulling the cord, use the knife to sever the cord. Do not cut the cord cleanly, instead scrape it until it cuts through. Because the spermatic cord contains many blood vessels, a clean cut could cause excessive blood loss.

If a segment of the spermatic cord is protruding below your cut scrotum, it must be removed. If left exposed, it will act as an escalator to pull bacteria into your body cavity and cause infection. Pull it free or scrape it with the knife. Apply antiseptic to the castration site and administer an injection of tetanus antitoxin.

Note: Care should be taken not to excite yourself before or immediately after castration.